Funny Coffee Quotes

1. "May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short."

2. "Today's good mood is sponsored by coffee."

3. "Caffeine- It maintains my sunny personality."

4. "Three cups of coffee a day keeps the doctor away!"

5. "Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed."

6. "Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break."

7. "A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."

8. "Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool."

9. "Coffee helps me maintain my 'never killed anyone streak.'”

10. "I put coffee in my coffee."

11. "The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee."

12."I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake."

13."If you are not coffee, chocolate or bacon, I’m going to need you to go away."

14. "When my blood runs black as the moonless night, and my heartbeat sounds as the Warriors march, only then may you say, I’ve had enough coffee."

15. "I was taken by the power that savoring a simple cup of coffee can have to connect people and create community."

16. "You should know that before 10 am, no matter what the question is, my answer is always coffee."

17. "Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee…it’s called sleeping."

18. "It’s strange how drinking cups of water seems impossible but 8 cups of coffee go down like a chubby kid on a see-saw."

19. "Life without coffee is like something without something…sorry, I haven’t had any coffee yet."

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20. “Coffee is the best medicine.”

21. “I like my coffee like I like myself: strong, sweet, and too hot for you.”

22. “If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”

23. “Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?”

24. “But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all. New York has great water for coffee.”

25. “My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me.”

26. “Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will have another coffee.”

27. “7 days without coffee makes one WEAK.

28. “Doctors found traces of blood in my coffee stream.”

29. “Coffee, because adulting is hard.”

30. “Coffee owns me, and I’m fine with that.”

31. “You’re brew-tiful.”

32. “It’s coffee o’clock.”

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33. “I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.”

34. “SYS Not Found: User startup disabled.”

35. “Listen, before I had my coffee, I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today, either.”

36. “Wanna hear a joke? Decaf.”

37. “Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s caffeine.”

38. “Drink coffee and pretend to know what you’re doing.”

39. “To me, the smell of fresh–made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.”

40. “Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.”

41. “Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried–up piece of goat.”

42. “It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.”

43. “Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.”

44. “I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.”

45. “Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.”

46. “May your coffee kick in before reality does.”

47. “Humanity runs on coffee.”

48. “I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.”

49. “I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.”

50. “Kids are meeting in coffee shops and basements figuring out what’s unsustainable in their communities. That’s the future.”

51. “When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee.”

52. “No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.”

53. “Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.”

54. “As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?”

55.”You can’t have a decent food culture without a decent coffee culture: the two things grow up together.”

56. “We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.”

57. “The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportional to the quantity of coffee he drank.”

58. “Coffeeology: Espresso yourself. So many blends, so little time. Take life one sip at a time, and stay grounded. Better latte than never. Take time to smell the cover.”

59. “Life happens, coffee helps.”

60. “A bad day with coffee is better than a good day without it.”

61. “I don’t know how people live without coffee, I really don’t.”

62. “People say money can’t buy happiness. They lie. Money buys coffee, coffee makes me happy!”

63. “I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.”

64. “I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism.”

65. “Adventure in life is good… consistency in Coffee even better.”

66. “I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless.”

67. “The road to success is paved in coffee.”

68. “There is no life without water. Because water is needed to make coffee.”

69. “Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.”

70. “I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.”

71. “Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.”

72. “It doesn’t matter where you’re from – or how you feel… There’s always peace in a strong cup of coffee.”

73. “Life is too short to drink bad coffee.”

74. “Some coffee, plus some thinking, equals some great ideas.”

75. “Without coffee, nothing gets written. Period.”