100 Of The Best & Funniest Coffee Quotes | GROSCHE

Let’s get real, there’s no better way to start your morning than with a hot pot of coffee. Everyone loves coffee. And what better way to celebrate that love than with some clever and funny coffee quotes?!

We believe that there is a coffee quote for every coffee lover. We put together all the best coffee quotes that we love. Enrich your coffee life with the following clever, beautiful and funny coffee quotes:

Clever Coffee Quotes

6. “Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.”

– Thomas Jefferson

7. “Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried–up piece of goat.”

– J.S. Bach

8. “It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.”

– Donna A. Favors

9. “Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.”

– Alphonse Allais

11. “Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.”

– David Letterman

12. “May your coffee kick in before reality does.”

– Anonymous

13. “Humanity runs on coffee.”

– Anonymous

14. “I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.”

– Burt Lancaster

16. “Kids are meeting in coffee shops and basements figuring out what’s unsustainable in their communities. That’s the future.”

– Ian Somerhalder

17. “When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee.”

–  Anonymous

18. “No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.”

– Sheik Abd-al-Kadir

19. “Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.”

– Fran Drescher

21.”You can’t have a decent food culture without a decent coffee culture: the two things grow up together.”

– Adam Gopnik

22. “We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.”

– Jerry Seinfeld

23. “The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportional to the quantity of coffee he drank.”

– Sir James MacKintosh

24. “Coffeeology: Espresso yourself. So many blends, so little time. Take life one sip at a time, and stay grounded. Better latte than never. Take time to smell the cover.”

– Anonymous

26. “A bad day with coffee is better than a good day without it.”

– Anonymous

27. “I don’t know how people live without coffee, I really don’t.”

– Martha Quinn

28. “People say money can’t buy happiness. They lie. Money buys coffee, coffee makes me happy!”

– Anonymous

29. “I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.”

— Terri Guillemets

31. “Adventure in life is good… consistency in Coffee even better.”

— Justina Headley

32. “I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless.”

— Napoleon Bonaparte

33. “The road to success is paved in coffee.”

— Anonymous

34. “There is no life without water. Because water is needed to make coffee.”

— Anonymous

36. “I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.”

― Louisa May Alcott

37. “Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.”

― Terry Pratchett

38. “It doesn’t matter where you’re from – or how you feel… There’s always peace in a strong cup of coffee.”

― Gabriel Bá

39. “Life is too short to drink bad coffee.”

 – Anonymous

41. “Today’s good mood is sponsored by coffee.”

– Anonymous

42. “Caffeine- It maintains my sunny personality.”

– Anonymous

Funny Coffee Quotes

44. “Three cups of coffee a day keeps the doctor away!”

– Anonymous

45. “Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.”

– Earl Wilson

46. “A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.”

– Alfred Renyi

47. “Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.”

– Barista Life

49. “I put coffee in my coffee.”

– Anonymous

50. “The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.”

– Anonymous

51.”I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.”

– Lewis Black

52.”If you are not coffee, chocolate or bacon, I’m going to need you to go away.”

– Anonymous

53. “When my blood runs black as the moonless night, and my heartbeat sounds as the Warriors march, only then may you say, I’ve had enough coffee.”

– Anonymous

55. “Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee…it’s called sleeping.”

– Anonymous

56. “It’s strange how drinking  cups of water seems impossible but 8 cups of coffee go down like a chubby kid on a see-saw.”

– Anonymous

57. “Life without coffee is like something without something…sorry, I haven’t had any coffee yet.”

– Anonymous

58. “I like my coffee like I like myself: strong, sweet, and too hot for you.”

–Jac Vanek

59. “If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”

–Abraham Lincoln

60. “Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?”

– Jean Kerr

62. “My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me.”

— Anonymous

63. “Sometimes I stay up so late that I have my morning coffee before I go to bed.”

— Anonymous

64. “Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will have another coffee.”

— Anonymous

65. “7 days without coffee makes one WEAK.

 — Anonymous

66. “I’m going to start measuring the complexity of coding tasks in coffee cups. This was a five-espresso algorithm.”

— Anonymous

67. “Doctors found traces of blood in my coffee stream.”

— Anonymous

68. “Coffee! Is the planet shaking or is just me?”

— Anonymous

70. “I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.”

— Anonymous

71. “SYS Not Found: User startup disabled.”

— Anonymous

72. “Listen, before I had my coffee, I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today, either.”

73. “Wanna hear a joke? Decaf.”

 – Anonymous

74.”Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s caffeine.”

 – Anonymous

75. “Drink coffee and pretend to know what you’re doing.”

– Anonymous

76. “My birthstone is a coffee bean.”

 – Anonymous

78. “I’m holding a cup of coffee, so yeah, I’m pretty busy.”

 – Anonymous

79. “Coffee, because adulting is hard.”

 – Anonymous

80. “Coffee owns me, and I’m fine with that.”


Beautiful Coffee Quotes

82. “Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death and sweet as love.”

– Turkish proverb

83. “Coffee with a friend is like capturing happiness in a cup.”

– Anonymous

84. “Love is in the air, and it smells like coffee.”

– Anonymous

85. “Coffee is a hug in a mug.”

– Anonymous

86. “Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.”

— Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

87. “Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning.”

— Anonymous

89. “Friends bring happiness into your life. Best friends bring coffee.”

– Anonymous

90. “Smell the roses. Smell the coffee. Whatever it is that makes you happy.”

– Rita Moreno

91. “Coffee connects us in so many ways – to each other, to our senses, and to the earth that supports the coffee trees.”

– Rohan Marley

92. “Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.”

— Jonathan Swift

93. “Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.”

— Terri Guillemets

95. “Black as night, sweet as sin.”

– Neil Gaiman

96. “You’re brew-tiful.”

– Anonymous

97. “I can’t espresso how much you bean to me.”

– Anonymous

98. “My blood type is coffee.”

– Anonymous

99. ” I love you a latte.”

– Anonymous

We hope you enjoy these coffee quotes as much as we do! Share them with your friends during your coffee break, clink your coffee mugs together and let us know what’s your favorite. Also, don’t forget to check out the coffee collection that keeps us sane!